There are few things that I enjoy when it comes to academia. Drowning in papers and study guides? Not really. Waking up for an 8am class I could not have avoided even if I tried? You bet your ass that’s a no. Having complete freedom to pick what professor I want for my classes? Hell, yeah.
One of the most important parts of picking classes, in my opinion, is choosing what professor you’re going to spend weeks at a time in a classroom with. They are the foundation of all the learning you’re supposed to be doing for the majority semester – your spiritual guide, if you will. It’s the person that will make or break all the blood, sweat, and tears that will go into completing your college career.
Besides having to listen to them for weeks…you also need to look at them.
*** Van Halen softly playing in the background ***
I will freely admit, I owe a majority of my academic success to all the professors over my four years of college whom I have had major crushes on.
Perhaps surprisingly, Towson University has some nice looking professors.
The other day I saw my old Geography professor at Target and I hid in the aisle with all the mops because he is so good-looking it makes me forget my name. That was the semester I made it to class almost every Friday… even when I couldn’t remember my Thursday night.
The older I get, the more I realize what exactly my “type” might be. If there’s one thing you must learn about me, I like a man with two things— age and smarts.
It can be assumed that a college professor is guaranteed to have at least one of those attributes.
When I register for classes, I spend too much time and effort making sure that at least one out of the five professors I have for the semester is at least a little bit good-looking. It’s the push I need to go to class, do well, and hang on to every word they say. A special shout out to ratemyprofessors.com and their chili pepper system that helps me figure out what professors are hot and which ones to stray from. Whoever thought of that feature deserves some type of reward or a lifetime supply of Chipotle.
If you’re less crazy than I am, or aren’t as savvy when it comes to Internet stalking, you’ve probably stumbled across a hot professor or will in your college career – event if it’s by accident.
It goes a little something like this:
A new semester is here. You’re sad because the summer is over and frigid cold weather is around the corner. Or, you’re pissed that you didn’t get to do all the cool shit you were planning to do over the winter and the spring semester blues are quickly approaching. Either way, you’re back to the old grind. It’s the first day of class and you’re sitting in your seat anxiously awaiting the man or woman you’ll have to spend at least 3 hours each week with for a whole semester. Everyone is on his or her phone. Nobody is talking. The awkwardness of the room could be cut with a spoon. Is that the girl you saw dancing on the bar the other night? You look up and a person stands in front of the classroom…
Oh, lord.
An angel has fallen from the heavens.
The professor is capital H-O-T.
#BlessUp
When this happens, it’s important to keep it cool, calm, and collected. Don’t start planning your wedding right away. The recommended next step is to develop a good relationship with him or her. When the time comes, swoop into their heart and never let them go. Or, at least, attempt to get an A to be somewhat impressive.
What’s the most important thing in this situation?
DO NOT EMBARRASS YOURSELF.
This is my biggest problem.
I always end my love affair with my own personal Sam Coulson before it even starts.
(Ten points if you get the movie reference. Hint: watch Never Been Kissed.)
Want to know why?
I ALWAYS embarrass myself.
I don’t mean to look like a complete jackass, but my natural awkward demeanor just gets in the way of the “super cool” persona I so desperately strive toward . I suppose outer beauty intimidates me. When a person has the brains and charm to go along with their irresistible physical attributes… give me strength. Professors, man, they just do something to me that I can’t explain.
Here are some ways I recommend trying to not embarrass yourself:
- Don’t accidentally favorite their tweet from three years ago.
- Don’t say “I love you” when you’re leaving class.
- Wedding band? No chance. DO NOT even try.
- Only go to office hours for legitimate reasons.
- Don’t fail the class…
I’m not going to tell you I am guilty of some (or all) of these… but use these bullets as a guide for how can keep it cool when you’re freaking out about how nice your professor’s smile looks. Because, as I’ve said before, you’ll spend a significant amount of your time with these people. They can make or break how well you do in the class. If you make them uncomfortable… that’s not the best plan.
Get your learning on my friends. Don’t look like an ass in front of Professor McHottie.
What are your experiences with hot professors? What do you think about the concept of the hot professor?
I think I’m in love with you.