Wine: the only drink that can simultaneously make you look classy and sophisticated or like a total idiot at the same time. There is a lot to know about wine, but you don’t have to study to be a sommelier to pass yourself off as a bit of an expert (or at least fake your way through a dinner party). Here are a few pro tips to help you convince people that you might just be a wine pro.
1.) Try New Wines
The first and easiest way to pass yourself off as a wine pro is to actually drink different types of wine! Simple, right? It can be tempting to stick with good ol’ Franzia, but if you branch out and try new kinds of wines, you’ll be able to talk about them in a way that doesn’t make you sound clueless. Plus, you can learn how to pronounce some of the less common types of grapes – just try and say Gewürztraminer correctly the first time.
2.) Accessorize
Head to Bed, Bath & Beyond and pick up a few nice (and cheap) wine accessories. You can’t fool anyone if you are trying to dig out a cork with a knife or are pouring that bottle of Chardonnay into a red solo cup. Invest in a few wine glasses, a decorative stopper, and a real corkscrew. Bonus points for if you splurge on an electric corkscrew. No one will ever suspect that you used to drink straight from the bottle.
3.) Eat cheese
No really. If you serve wine, set out some fancy cheese and crackers to nibble on. Kraft American singles won’t really work for this situation, but there are countless nice cheese options to pair with your wine selection. Don’t know what kind to choose? Luckily the internet has plenty of places that will happily tell you how to pick the right cheese to match your wine of choice. And isn’t any excuse to eat more cheese a good thing?
4.) Learn to Swirl
Perfect the art of swirling. We’ve all seen how people who are actually in-the-know about wine swirl the sweet nectar around in the glass and take a sniff – as it turns out this oxygenates the wine and actually increases the flavor. We recommend a slow, gentle swirl (sloshing the wine out of the glass and onto your white shirt isn’t going to impress anyone) and take a small whiff before your first sip.
5.) Talk the Talk
There is a whole language about wine, so brush up on these basics so you can be convincing when you speak about this tasty drink. Aroma is the smell of the wine, but no one will ever actually say the word “smell.” Tannins are an astringent component of red wines – they are responsible for the dry, puckery mouth feeling you get after downing a sip (or gulp). Dry refers to the wine being unsweet (often also called “Brut” on sparking wines). And vintage is the year the grapes were harvested. But don’t worry, most people won’t expect you to know if 2009 was a good or bad year.
