(Originally titled, “This draft is a mess, just like my love life”)
Here I present the typical college love triangle, described by music.
First, a boy and girl magically fall in love senior year of high school. Plot twist, the girl is me. It seemed like fate.
We met at summer camp as eight year olds when I would persistently chase him around on the patio. We had a similar love for four square, as we were dubbed four square king and queen (meaning we played well, loved the game, and were good sportsmen).
Following, we volunteered in the kitchen. When signing up to volunteer, it’s unknown which week out of five you’ll work.So, it just happened that we were selected to volunteer the same week. Then, we watched our relationship blossom even further as we both became staff members.
We would meet up in the middle of the night and during weekend parties – ready to sneak in a couple of quick kisses under the starry night sky. Since we lived over 2 hours away from each other, we had to work through a long distance relationship as high schoolers.
We had half way points to meet up: shopping malls, restaurants, parking lots. We’d make out in his mom’s car in a parking lot, ducking when a stranger walked by: Yes we were that couple. “Love Story” from Taylor Swift describes the love story well.
Think: “We were both young when I first say you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts, I’m standing there on a balcony in summer air.” (If you’re currently in love, minus the love triangle, good for you. Check out this neat article from Popsugar.)
Then, we vowed to stick together following high school graduation. We told our family and friends distance would be nothing since our colleges were only 100 miles away. Plus, we were pros at long distance by then. Fall semester came around and I was singing High School Musical 3’s “Just Wanna Be With You” on repeat. The lyrics said it themselves: “You’re on my mind, you’re in my heart, It doesn’t matter where we are. We’ll be alright, even if we’re miles apart.”
In college, we both joined clubs, sports, and organizations. We began to create the people we wanted to become around the people we aspired to be. In this new chapter of life, one of us (ok it was me cool neat fun right on) found a best friend of the opposite sex. Because everyone knows boys and girls can be just friends (I learned this may not be true the hard way). But then, I caught the feels for my best friend and the song “Crush” by Mandy Moore was running through my brain. It took me back to the days of swing sets and carefree school years. We had similar interests, since we are in the same student political organization. We had similar beliefs and morals. We both were motivated and wanted to help people in life. He exemplified the saying “actions speak louder than words” by making me pancakes, walking me home at night, and texting me every morning to “Have a blessed day.”
Since he was originally my friend, I could look ugly in sweats and still feel comfortable. We had mutual friends so we spent tons of time together. He was my support system, along with the girls in my sorority (especially my big who would comfort me during my nightly cry sessions) and people in my organization. The organization was similar to that of Model United Nations. It was attractive how good he is at MUN and that every person he encounters loves him. He is a friend to everyone. His love for his family and culture was equivalent to that of mine. When we looked at each other, it was if we were the only two that mattered. We would finish each other’s thoughts on a daily basis. He said, “When we look at each other, nothing else is relevant; it’s us appreciating each other’s presence and acknowledging the love between us.” For all these reasons, I couldn’t stay away.
So college got the best of me, and I broke up with my high school boyfriend. We had seen each other every weekend, and being with him felt more like home than staying at my university. I relied on him for everything and vice versa. I knew we needed to break up because relationships are supposed to compliment you, not complete you. We needed to grow as individuals, as college permits. For a better idea of this, check out Shel Silverstein’s book “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O”. Since college consists of a lot of reading, here is the video clip:
You figure it is time to “$ave Dat Money” by flirting with other guys at bars. My favorite pick up line during this time was “I look ugly and no boy will buy me alcohol, so you have to.” It surprisingly worked like a charm every time.
If you need more pick up lines, check these out. I think it would work on both genders! Then your night turns into Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”. I thought this myself, “This is what college is supposed to be like.”
Meanwhile, I felt a little lost without my true best friend. He was the only one who knew everything about my family and me. After all, we did break up because we were too in love for our young souls. Since we are part of the Millennial generation, we are known for our great use and understanding of technology. Thanks to technology (cell phones and social media), we are able to keep tabs on our significant others. Privacy can almost be removed from the dictionary, as it no longer exists in relationships. This can be a blessing and a curse. After we broke up, we didn’t talk as often. It was weird not knowing everything going on in his life. Before I could check his location on Find My Friends, I could know what he was listening to by following him on Spotify, I could know his meals throughout the day with one single text. Without him, I had to use my imagination to wonder what he was doing. For a better feeling, listen to “Landslide”. The well known songs says, “Well, I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I’ve built my life around you.” And that is exactly how I felt. Period.
Through these hard times, I needed support. So while hanging with my girl friends and strengthening my relationships with them, I had been asking my ex how he was doing. After all, we broke up because of the distance, not so much because I didn’t want to be with him. I missed everything about him and his family, so I decide to get back with my (no longer ex) boyfriend. Plus, Tracy Chapman motivated me. It reminded me what is important to me.
We got back together, but everyone wants what they can’t have. So, I kissed my “friend” back at school. I decided not to tell my boyfriend because… college and I am 20. College is the time to make mistakes and grow as an individual. You find excuses to make yourself feel less guilty, even when you know it is wrong. Otherwise it might turn into an episode of F*** It and FURB.
But I tired to remind myself of Christina’s lyrics “While I figured it out, they say, ‘If you love something let it go. If it comes back it’s yours, and that’s how you know. It’s for keeps, yeah, it’s for sure.” Have a listen to Christina’s “What a Girl Wants” for yourself.
Then, I decided to block the number of the one “friend” I left behind. Then I unblocked him, and he blocked me. And it was a game of tennis for a while. Subsequently, I would listen to “Molly”, thinking the sad lyrics would make me snap out of my dump. Some people repeat songs similar to this for a week and some for months. It’s been over a month and I still have this song on.
Back in the relationship, I ask myself if I am happy. It seems to be common among twenty something year olds these days. People say this happens our whole lives. It’s common for us to listen to Happily Ever After because “we all wanna know how it ends.”
But always keep in mind, the rest is still “Unwritten”.
What songs remind you of significant times or people?